Porscha Dzierzon

(WARNING, THIS MAY MAKE ONE CRY. PLEASE ALWAYS BUCKLE UP, FOR THE ONES YOU LOVE.)

Your smile was always big,
It was always so bright.
You were the type of girl who could make any one smile,
even if you couldn't smile on your own.

You never complained,
and I really adored you.
Your laugh was always cheerful,
and contagous.
You were always there for me,

when I couldn't be there for myself.

You were the blush upon my cheeks,
the song in my laughter.
You were my bestfriend,
and always will be in my heart no matter what others say.
You stood up for me,

when I couldn't for myself.

You knew how to hold your own,
you held your family together well.
If only I have had the strength and courage you carried everywhere with you,

I'm the luckiest person to know you.
You made me think,
you made me wonder;
you opened my eyes to new things.
New adventures came every day you were around,
and now there gone.
My smile isn't complete without you,
I love you Porscha.
Amber needs you,
more then anyone.
You two weren't "just friends,"

you were the sister she always wanted;
and never had.

I'd give every last breath,
just to hear your voice again.
I just got you back Porscha,
and now your never comingback.:(
I looked up to you daily,
how smart you were.
Anyone would've been dang lucky to know you.
Flash backs,
come and go too soon.

I wish I could have been a better friend P.
I hope to be the best sister,
for my own.

I'm never gonna let you go Porsche,
without you I wouldn't have made it through out the years.
You kept me strong,
you kept me sane.

I love you.
I wish you where here,
you could fix me.

R.I.P.
Porscha Dzierzon

(September 11, 2009)

we're only steps away.

(October 26, 2009)

SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL, AND MORE SCHOOL!!!

Sitting in class,
hoping time flies by fast.
Sitting in class,
wanting to die.
The clock strikes one,
this is no fun.
The clock strikes two,
I feel very dumb.
My hands are cold,
my lips are chappy;
I think I should go home.
Today's my driving test,
tonight's my dog's bath night.
Then it's history,
and MATH, MATH, MATH, and MORE MATH!!
school, school, school,
would you like a side of textbook;
with that HOMEWORK!?!?!
Yes ma'm I sure wouldn't.
Everyday,
same old thing.
Shoe's, socks, pants,
WAIT no..
Pants, shoes, socks..
NO wait..
Socks, pants, shoes.
Teeth, make up, hair,
life really isn't fair.
check one,
check one, two.
Yep the road is all clear,
we're free to..
WAIT!!
What's that sound?
"What's what sound?"
I repeat.
Oh it's just the teacher singing the Z's,
while her students "read."
In other words,
sneak out of the classroom;
or text.
Need I say more?
It's 4:3o,
And I'm still at school.
Pathetic.
Daydream,
dream, after dream.
WAKE UP!!
A strange man says,
you still love him;
he never loved you.
GET OVER IT!!
You'll never move on,
with a broken heart like that.
"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,"
The alarm clock goes off.
What happened to my day?
Nothing.
It's just me,
fading away..


(October 26, 2009)

Love doesn't walk away, people do.

Before you let go,
remember why you held on for so long.
Thinking for so long,
he doesn't really want to.
He slips into the night,
goodnight;
and goodbye.
moments pass,
it sinks in;
he's not coming back.
the best thing she could ask for,
just walked out the door.
She's not running after him,
she let him go.
Two weeks pass by,
she starts a new school,
he's there.
Passing him slowly,
she glances out of the corner of her eye;
he's staring at her.
One look says it all,
let me;
let you go.
She whispers under her breath.
I loved you,
using every ounce of energy she had left;
she put a smile on her face and passed by slowly.
She had a text on her phone,
the moment the bell rang.
"You looked beautiful today."
It said.
Blank text went by,
nothing.
Another text,
"I still love you."
RAGE,
How can you break my heart, and still tell me you love me?
Thinking out loud to herself.
Nothing,
black text.
Hours to hours pass,
"Your the best thing that ever happened to me."
Memories begin to play in her head,
"I love you."
He said it first,
her stomach did mutiple backflips.
He's gone,
she shakes her head.
Goodbye is our forever,
silently heart breaking.
I loved you,
and gave you me;
for me.
I gave you my heart,
my soul.
Once I'm gone,
I'm gone for good;
forget me.
I'm no longer yours,
and never will be again.


October 25, 2009

(no real meaning behind it, just a tragic little story. Don't mind my spelling please.)

A Painful Memory

A Painful Memory

There was this boy, who was always there
he had time to share. So he dicided to get a job to work at the fair.
On his first day he met a girl, she admired him so much.
blue eyes, soft skin, cute smile, wonderful personality.
He told her that he loved her, and that he wanted to be with her and only her.
he told her he wanted her to be his first time and he could be hers.
Deprived from the thirst of his to sleep around, he told her that he could'nt be
with her. But really he just did'nt want to be with her, he did'nt think
that he wanted her anymore.
The moment he left her side, there was many guys, who wanted to
truely be with her and only her.
He than knew that he really screwed up, he missed her, he really wanted to
kiss her. She not knowing what to do to,
she knew that she still loved him too.
She took him back in a heart beat, he just wanted to sweap her up
off her feet, so he did. This went on for about a week and than
his thirst began to leak. The poor girl still thinking that he loves her.
sits at home hoping that he will be there with her soon.
It was till than she called his phone, a girl answered.
Sad and upset as she was asked the girl who she was, the girl said that she was
his girlfriend. Hurt, beaten, Ashamed, the
girl hung up her phone, crying she said this will be my last painful memory.
As she wrote a note to him, it said;
"by the time that you read this I will already be gone, I will no longer feel anything for you or anyone else. I loved you like I would love nothing else, you ripped and tore my heart into peices you stomped on it like that was all you had to do. And after all that I took you back like none of that even happened. I gave you back what was left of my heart. Still to this day you where the only one that I was thinking about. That empty space that was in my heart was filled the moment I met you, now its just ashes that you helped burn.
Folding the note she put it close to her heart, as she slowly
took the razor sliding it both fast and slow against her skin, till it started to
pour out what was left of the feelings she had for him.
When he had finally arived at her house he knocked on the door, no sound was
made, he found an opened window and climbed through. There she was not
knowing what to do he picks up the note that was held close to her heart.
He read it over and over again till his eyes hurt so bad because he was not
blinking but crying, he picks up the razor and slits his wrists like he was feeling
for the very first time.

(January 4, 2008)

I’m Done

I’m Done

I’m Done Picking up your beer cans;

I’m done telling you I love you.

I’m done cleaning up your messes;

I’m done telling you that you’re not the worst parent in the world.

I’m done taking care of you, like you should me.

I’m done being the one there for you,

When you where never there for me.

When you’re sober;

you can be anyone’s best friend.

I’m done pretending that every morning you wake up,

that never happened.

I’m done trying to measure up my mistakes to impress you,

when all in all you’re the one making mistakes.

I’m tired,

I’m beat.

You always say “Johnson’s don’t cry”,

well I’m not crying over you anymore.

I’m going somewhere in my life,

when you never did yours.

You can’t keep getting drunk,

and pretend that everything is ok.

Just because you can blame it on the alcohol,

doesn’t mean you can blame it on me.

I can’t handle watching you throw up all over yourself,

and want me to clean it up.

I’m done carrying your passed out body to bed every night,

I’m tired of you braking shit.

I’m tired of acting strong in front of my family,

saying “oh he’s great, he’s the best”.

When they can see right through me knowing that I am truly broken inside.

You’re dying dad,

and I can’t keep watching you.

I’m done.

-Jexie Jay (september 22,2009)